Vital Changes

"Joyful Intimacy: Increasing
Your Couple Connections"

Our marriages are like a dance - it begins with great joy but later it feels like our toes are stepped on - over and over again. Our attempt to have a smooth and satisfying "dance" together with household chores - Ouch! With raising our children - Ouch! With romancing and having sex together - Ouch! We do everything we can to dance in tune with our partner and to tell them what we need - but the pain often continues. At this point we find ourselves looking for a way out or a way forward. I bring my expertise and attention for a way forward by teaching you new steps to create a joyful intimacy with your partner.

These new steps involve learning both greater personal insight and specific couple practices. These steps includes having the ability to be aware of the subtle and nuanced meanings that occur between partners and to see how these meanings can create unacknowledged conflict as well as lead to greater intimacy. Another step is becoming more aware of one's emotions and needs and how to better care for oneself. Communication can then lead less to conflict and more to intimacy.

Along with the deeper sense of emotional intimacy, you will develop a renewed sense of your purpose and legacy as a couple. I call this "co-intending" and it applies to having a mutual goal and plan for every area of your shared life - health and wellness, finances and career, children and family.

Having these areas of your life feel more loving and supportive will lead to greater sexual intimacy and a renewal of your desire for each other. Couples want to re-discover their ability to seduce and enchant each other and I enjoy helping them. My approach is informed by a variety sources in social science research, marriage therapy practices, and personal transformation practices from sources such as John Gottman, Terrance Real, Gay Hendricks, my experiences with clients, and my personal life.

Individual growth is essential as you work to have your loving couple dance restored. So you will have opportunities for individual counseling along with couple counseling. Just as in a dance, each partner must have their own balance when they take their partner by the hand. You will also want to find ways to understand and grow in your emotional life to better handle frustration, sadness, loss, and hopelessness. These are strong emotions that can bring great pain and throw us into a downward spiral or they can lead to intimacy. Your couple relationship will grow and improve as you learn how to experience these emotions with the skills to stay centered and grounded.

I look forward to working with you and your partner in the sacred journey of being a loving couple with joyful intimacy.